alive?

Sigh work is really not working out. 1 year more to endure. i wonder how long i can survive in this kinda environment.

Somehow i miss the spontaneous element that was with me before. i wanna just do stuff as and when i feel like it. A normal 9 to 5 job would have suffice, why did i chose this path in life, i wonder...

The ironic part is that i thought i had everything worked out, but my failure in taking the environment into consideration has left me feeling down most of the time.
Now all i can do is to hope that everything will turn out just fine.. I had serious contemplation of changing the place/environment but there are always certain things holding me back. Or maybe i just wanna escape.

I have officially lost all faith and motivation to keep me going. Everyday/everything seems like a drag right now. I don't wanna think about it. But still it haunts me every night.

I thought i needed excitement in life, what it turns out that what awaits me was all the monotonous aspect of it. I wanted a more fulfilling lifestyle, something that can keep me satisfied and being able to fulfill/help others in the process.

Now i need a source, a outlet to vent my frustration and for once again, to feel alive.

listening to, 蘇打綠 - 无与伦比的美丽


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